


Anywhere and Nowhere

by imminentdanger



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Life Choices, M/M, Smoking, SouMako - Freeform, Unrequited Love, reigisa - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-17
Updated: 2014-09-16
Packaged: 2018-02-17 17:28:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2317535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imminentdanger/pseuds/imminentdanger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Where would we go?"<br/>"Somewhere. Anywhere. Nowhere."<br/>-<br/>They left. But they left together. </p>
<p>But it's not always that easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anywhere and Nowhere

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic on here so I'm sorry if there are any errors. I hope you enjoy!

The words were on the tip of his tongue when they came spilling out of his companion"s mouth, followed by a dull gray wisp of smoke that curled past pale lips.  
"What if we just left?" A lofty silence follows, each moment filled with the hazy shadow of cigarette smoke.  
Makoto doesn't like the smell or taste of cigarettes. They suffocate, he thinks, they kill. But Sousuke assures him he only graces his lips with the poison when he absolutely needs it, to cure the tremors in his hands and soothe the panic in his heart. Makoto thinks that there will be more of these moments in the future.   
They stand there, backs flush against the brick wall of Samezuka high school, hair still damp from the pool water, muscles still aching. And they watch. They watch the smoke drift lazily into the air, fading like the words they think to say but never do. They watch the world around them keep on moving, paying no mind to the two teens watching them through a wall of cigarette smoke and pain. Sousuke ends the silence by grinding the burning embers of his cigarette into the concrete below his feet, until it was nothing but a dark smudge like a scar on the cool gray. "We could get on the first train out of here, the day after Nationals. Together."   
They stare at the sky through half lidded eyes in muted understanding. A blanket of night falls over them, stars stamping their memory in the swirling darkness.  
"Where would we go?" Makoto asks, voice wavering, and Sousuke shoves his hands into the warmth of his pockets.   
"Somewhere. Anywhere. Nowhere." He suggests, pained shoulder lifting in a gentle shrug. Makoto nods, and the night closes in painting them with pale moonlight and slinking shadows.  
"The first train to nowhere. Might as well."  
***  
When Nationals comes it's decided through fleeting glances and curious stares. Green and blue meet and blend, and neither of them need to voices the questions that catch in their throats. Makoto has yet to compete, and he knows that the time before that stopwatch ends is all the time he has to decide. And it hurts. Every second in the water is full of dread and fear, and he wonders if this is what it feels like to drown.   
Makoto strangely finds his hesitation fade when he surfaces from the water, saturated in chlorine, and sees Iwatobi listed in first place on the score boards. Somehow it feels wrong and he wants to reach out and chance the numbers. Because it's wrong for them to stand out in the water. This isn't his place. The pool offers no home, swimming isn't his dream. He can leave that to them, the ones who stand beside him now. The ones he can't bring himself to look at. So he looks at the only thing he needs right now.  
The emptiness in Sousuke's eyes speak volumes, and the gentle nod of his head is enough to push Makoto over the edge he had been teetering on for over a week, torn between stepping back for fear or what lay beyond the cliff or flinging himself off of the stone edge, putting his faith in whatever lie below.   
And Makoto learns falling feels a lot like flying.   
***   
Sousuke wakes early in the morning, before the sun had graced the horizon with its warm glow. His bag is already packed and he's up much earlier than he needs to be, but it feels right. He also feels that itching, the twitch of fingers in desperate need to cling onto the smooth surface of a cigarette. So that's what he does, he steps out on the balcony and lights up, and mindlessly thinks about what Makoto says about cigarettes and poison as he watches the word beneath his feet begins to wake.   
Sending a glance at Rin sends a pang through his heart because, for the first time, he thinks about what he's leaving behind. Friends. A dream. Swimming. It hurts.   
But he looks away, turns his head from what Rin symbolizes now- his failure. He wants everything for Rin, success, friends, a bright future unlike the bleak road he's staring down. But even if Rin takes a different turn at this corner, having Makoto by his side doesn't sound too bad. And he leaves, but not before scrawling out a simple note on a random sheet of paper he hopes isn't important. This breaks the rule of keeping their endeavor silent, but Sousuke finds he has to provide the answer to the only question he is certain he can answer.   
'I'll be back.'  
He knows it's true that he'll be back one day. He'll walk these streets once more, and look up at this same sky. And he and Rin will meet again. They always do. But it doesn't lessen the sting in his heart.   
***   
Makotos task proves to be much more challenging. His parents know he's leaving. Their tears and grievances have been released in a full frontal assault, and Makoto almost regret his decision. But as he glances towards the bedroom door of his younger siblings he sees a world he no longer recognizes. Faces of friends who are now strangers, and he wonders when everything had collapsed in on itself.   
As he leaves he locks the door to the house, closing the door to the life he had and stepping out onto the empty pavement before him. He casts a glance toward the looming shadow that is his best friend's house. He considers knocking on that door like every morning and asking him to come with them. Where? He does't know. Why? Now there's a question.   
Turning away takes all of the determination in his body, but he does it and never looks back once, and for the first time Makoto has something only Haru has had for years. Unbridled freedom. And Makoto finds the air tastes sweeter tonight.  
***   
The train station is fairly empty, but Makoto makes certain to drop the change he has in the cup of the homeless man leaning against the wall. Sousuke doesn't speak, save for a soft thank you when Makoto takes his bag. The first train to somewhere rolls into the station lazily, overwhelming the echo of artificial lights from the streetlights illuminating the young morning.   
It's almost mechanical how they move, stepping forward and never risking a glance over their shoulders because they're not sure what will happen if they do. Sousuke chuckles dryly as he thinks that they;re like marionettes, dragged by their strings by some unseen hand. Makoto laughs too, purely because they could both use it right now, to fill the whole in their hearts that's getting bigger with every step they take.   
They get on without looking where they're heading, and take the seats that feel right to their tired bodies. By now their actions are synced. They do not need to speak to understand and Makoto is thankful. For a lot. But mostly because he is leaning on Sousuke, the driving force in this whole mess, and for once Makoto doesn't have to be the one to push others, he does not have to be there for anyone else.   
***   
He leaves the messages right there, beside Sousuke. Four identical messages to four people. His three teammates and Rin. He's not sure he actually wants them to hear, but he's kind and they deserve to know that they're safe at least.   
"I'm sorry that we've drifted apart. I'm sorry if I've done anything to hurt you. And I'm sorry for what I'm doing now. But I need this. I really do. I'm sorry."  
After the last message is sent Sousuke leans back, cupping the back of his neck with his hands, when he asks,"But are you really? Sorry, I mean."  
Makoto discovers there is no simple answer to that question, no matter how much he wishes there was.   
***   
It takes until the sun has fully risen over the skyline for the two to question where they're headed. On this car of the train and old man is sleeping in a position that looks extremely uncomfortable, and behind them a young woman struggles to stay awake by gripping her coffee cup tightly in thin fingers.   
"Excuse me," Makoto starts and the woman looks up, eyes highlighted by her dark framed glasses, and for a moment Makoto thinks of Rei and the rest of their friends who are probably wondering where they are right now.   
"What can I help you with?" She offers, smiling though she is obviously fighting her need to sleep. Sousuke leans forward, stretching his good shoulder wearily.   
"Where are we headed?" She pauses, but laughs, a soft chuckle that reminds them both of Makoto himself.   
"You got on the train before without knowing where it was going?" She asks, but there is no judgment laced in her tone. "We're..." Makoto starts and turns to Sousuke with wide eyes. This is yet another question neither of them can answer.   
"...wanderers." Sou finishes, and Makoto nods because the words seem fitting for these two empty souls.   
They watch a knowing look grace her angular features as she states, "We are destined for Tokyo."  
It's farther than either of them had expected, but Sousuke doesn't seem shocked. In fact, he seems extraordinarily pleased by the news.   
"Tokyo," Makoto repeats, rolling the word around on his tongue, savoring the taste. "Tokyo is beautiful this time of year."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it. I've got an idea of where this is headed, and it won't be all that sad. In fact there's gonna be a whole lot of fluff. Especially worried friends and the cutest couple ever. Criticism welcome and encouraged.


End file.
